No memories

No memories of the good times.
No memories of him teaching me anything.
No memories of him encouraging me to learn new things.

Maybe I have repressed these memories? Maybe they never existed to begin with.

I can't seem to recall much of anything before my parents seperated in 1984.

I had a sandbox. We had a monkey tree. We had a pool. We had a trampoline. We had a jacuzzi. We had a play room. We had a long driveway that led out to a cul-de-sac which I rode my yellow bmx bike on everyday. Mom taught me how to ride it. I think...

I guess I can remember some stuff, but nothing relating to my Father.

Nothing good anyway.

New blog

I have no idea if I'll ever post anything here. I decided to create this space because as I was watching the newest episode of "How I met your Mother" I realized that there was so much missing in my life from not having a Father in it.

No man to make me more manly.
No man to call my best friend.
No man to teach me man things.
No man to be there when I needed him most.

No man in my life I could call my Dad. No man in my life that would put me through the emotions of losing that man. No grandfather in my life either. Not one that I ever got to know as a man or even a boy for that matter.

I used to think that maybe I am lucky to not have that man around as I went from a ten year old to a teenager to a beer drinker. Being a Dad myself now, I know this is as far from the truth as humanly possible.

Having all these women around me with very little man influence still makes me want to have a son of my own and do man things and teach him how to be a man so he can teach his son the same.