Time is flying and the thought me not being able to ever see or talk to him again still remains strong. I regret not going to Australia when he was on his deathbed. There, I said it. I can't explain why but it certainly is something that is on my mind lately. I can't just make that feeling go away either. I see how happy others are that their fathers are in their life. How awesome of a Dad they have. It makes me jealous. I didn't do anything wrong and he still didn't have the balls to call or see me over the last 20 years. It's sad and it makes me sad to think he could be so lonely and selfish not to want to contact me or my sister on a regular basis.
If there is such a thing as the afterlife and I do somehow meet him again... I will take that opportunity to let him know how I really feel. Until then, I'll just hold my breath.
